Broken Bridge
by yukuro
Summary: Detached after Obito's death, Kakashi learns to accept the bonds of friendship again through his sensei, despite the future that would eventually tear them apart. [slight YondaimexKakashi]


**Disclaimer:** no ownership of Naruto here

**Pairing:** slight Yondaime x Kakashi (for hikaaki on lj)

Broken Bridge

By: yukuro

Once again, Hatake Kakashi was alone. Loneliness had always been a factor in his life, from the death of his father to the death of his first friend. Just when he had slowly begun to believe that his life was not completely meant to be isolated, the thread that pulled him toward warmness suddenly snapped in a blink of an eye. Or in Kakashi's case, a transfer of an eye.

On the day of Obito's funeral, Kakashi had stood in the back corner of the crowd very quietly, scarcely breathing, heart slowly beating. He continued to stand until even Rin had gone with tears in her eyes and the last person slowly walked away, shaking their head over the Uchiha boy's "regretful death." The sky had grown dark and the moon shown over his lowered head. Kakashi stood alone until the moon was high and the stars began to twinkle. Standing with a darkened expression, almost as if he were waiting for Obito to cheerfully rise from his grave and apologize for the cruel joke he had been playing.

Obito never rose up to laugh and apologize though, and Kakashi already knew it was impossible. Only when the sun began to peek over the horizon did he slowly make his way up to the dark, gleaming stone in which Obito's name had been carefully engraved. Slowly, he dragged his fingers over the delicate etched rock. His eyes were blank and dry, darkened far more than the sky had been during the night. Then, without warning, Kakashi slowly sank down to his knees and lowered his eyes, valiantly blinking away the tears that had formed and biting his lip to keep sobs from escaping.

His had been beating slowly since the beginning of the funeral until the sun broken the horizon. As if catalyzed by his tears, his heart began to beat faster and more wildly, wrenching in pain and sorrow that had been bottled up for far too long. His small frame shook almost violently; the feeling was unbearable. After all, he had not cried in years. The last time nearly predated his own father's death.

"I think it's about time I sent you home," a soft voice said quietly from his side with a slight swish of wind about him. "Staying up all night isn't good for your health, Kakashi."

The words echoed in his mind like a faraway call. Kakashi could barely hear those words, but the tone of the soft, tender voice that called out to him was recognizable and filled him with both warmth and unhappiness. Hastily wiping his eyes, Kakashi rose to his feet, facing the opposite direction of the source of the kind voice. Just before he could take off, a gentle hand grasped his wrist.

Kakashi froze instantly. The very last person he had ever wanted to see in his weakened and shabby state was standing just behind him, surely with a kind and understanding expression on his face, a gentleness that was too great to bear.

"Sensei…" Kakashi mumbled softly, keeping his head low as the shadows from his hair danced over his eyes. "I…"

As the boy's wispy sentence trailed off, his teacher smiled softly at the back of his head with understanding. Slowly, he let go of the boy's hand with the utmost care, trusting that his student would not immediately run away. His trust was rewarded, as Kakashi stood rooted to the ground, still unable to turn and meet his teacher's eyes.

"Our cycle of life is too delicate," the blond young man began quietly, eyes never leaving the back of his student's head. "It's actually quite easy for us to keep working hard and force ourselves to become stronger. People are always deluded to think that strength is what keeps death away. But actually, strength is what brings us pain and death."

"Are you saying, Sensei," Kakashi began shakily, anger slightly leaking into his words, "that in order to avoid death, we should just remain weak and helpless, sitting at home doing nothing? Are you saying that Obito…Obito wouldn't have died if he had never become a ninja!"

"Strength is what brings us pain, but pain is already woven into our lives," his teacher went on firmly. "Death is inevitable. The strong will always die; it's simply the cycle of life. Obito," he paused when Kakashi flinched slightly, "was indeed very strong. He may not have been as talented at ninjutsu or taijutsu as you, but his heart was stronger than anybody else's."

"What's the use of his strength if he's gone now?" Kakashi asked darkly, voice sounding bitter and cold.

"Who said he was gone?" the man replied cheerfully, smiling gently at his student's surprise-stiffened back. "Obito is still alive. A part of him resides in you. He's lent you strength, and furthermore, a chance to live. The only thing you need is the will to do so."

Unconsciously, Kakashi lifted his hand to gingerly touch his left eye. He had been determined to feel nothing. More than anything, he wanted to be able to stand cold as his teacher said whatever jaded words of comfort he had to offer. It would be no different from anyone else's empty apologetic words. Or at least, that was what Kakashi had thought.

Somehow, his emotions quickly betrayed his mind and before his mental strength could will against it, Kakashi lowered his head again and let the last of his tears well silently up in his eyes. A shinobi was not to show his tears, after all. The warmth of his teacher's arms slowly and gently wrapping around him from behind was not pushed away like Kakashi had thought he would have done. Instead he allowed himself to be comfortingly embraced, another first in a seemingly endless amount of time. He was surprised though, at how pleasant such warmth could feel.

"Sensei," the boy muttered again quietly. When his teacher offered a slight squeeze of condolence as a response, Kakashi muttered again with the wind blowing softly, "You were with me the entire time, weren't you?"

His teacher smiled softly as the sun lifted from the horizon.

"How could I leave," he responded with a smile, "when both of my important students are out here alone at night? Though I'm sure you meant well for his sake, I'm sure Obito would be happier if you went to sleep and woke up brighter with a smile on your face."

A new day had begun, and their shadows stretched out to the distance as the sun continued to rise.

---

The sun had barely begun to rise when Kakashi had awakened, hastily dressing before slipping out of his house. More than a year had past since Obito's death, and despite how for a while Kakashi had wished he would never return to a regular life of semi-happiness again, everything did revert back slowly. Time had always been Kakashi's enemy; it always worked against his wishes. Despite how he desperately wanted to cling to the sadness that kept him humble, Kakashi was slowly overwhelmed by Obito's will to let him live. And so, it became just another ordinary day.

As usual, Kakashi always made his same first stop in the morning as he had been doing for the last year or so. The black stone with various etched names in it reflected the early morning sunlight at Kakashi's left eye, scarcely bothering him at all since his headband had been neatly placed over his eye.

"It's been almost a year and a half since I last saw you in person," Kakashi said quietly to the stone. "But it's only really been a day since I last spoke to you."

Every morning was nearly the same. He would come and tell Obito quietly of all the occurrences about Konoha Gakure and how the Uchiha family and Rin was doing.

Rin.

Kakashi knew that Obito had loved her; it was plainly obvious. Just for that fact alone, Kakashi could no longer look her in the eye. Not only because he knew Obito had loved her, but also because he knew that Rin reflected similar feelings onto him. Because those feelings of hers, Kakashi had not been able to properly associate with her for nearly a year and a half as well.

"I thought I would find you here," a familiar voice called out.

Without turning his eyes away from Obito's engraved name, Kakashi responded quietly, "Good morning, Sensei. Did you return from your mission already?"

"I just arrived, and I wanted to check in on you," his teacher replied, walking towards him and kneeling down beside Kakashi. Then, smiling lightly, he turned to the shimmering black stone. "Hello, Obito. I hope everything has been all right while I've been gone. Have you been taking care of Kakashi?"

Silently, Kakashi rose to his feet again. Closing his eyes, he turned and headed away for his morning training, leaving his teacher alone at the gleaming monument without saying a word to him.

"Be careful when you go out today, Kakashi," his teacher called after him lightly, still kneeling before the black stone. "Make sure you don't hurt yourself again with your training."

Although he had heard his teacher clearly, Kakashi still said nothing and continued to walk away until a tree came within jumping range. As he leaped through the trees, his mind attempted to blank itself of the memory his teacher's kind smile with the early morning sunlight dancing across his face. He wanted to be alone again and shut himself away from all presence of others, but his teacher seemed relentless in keeping him from doing so. With every kind smile and gentle utterance of words, the darkly isolated part of Kakashi's soul called to be freed and find sanctuary in those warm arms again.

His mind was against that idea though. His mind constantly reminded him what a rude awakening Obito's death had been. Having more people he cared about meant having more chances for pain and sorrow when he lost them. His mind told him frankly that his heart would no longer be able to take any more of that, and he should keep himself alone just as he had before. His mind was often right, but that did not keep Kakashi free of an internal battle within himself.

He knew by now his teacher was probably up reporting the details of his mission to the Sandaime Hokage. And without a doubt, he knew that his teacher was probably reporting good news. His sensei was the best, never had he failed a mission he had been given. He was liked by everyone, and he himself cared deeply for Konoha. Kakashi knew his teacher's excellent traits better than anyone. While he secretly aspired to be like him, his mind still told him to keep his proper distance to avoid being hurt again.

Kakashi spent hours training as always. The country was in a state of danger and impending wars, but it seemed Hokage was most reluctant to give him missions. True, it had been quite peaceful the last few months, but that was no reason not to give a jounin any assignments. When he questioned the Hokage, he received merely a slight chuckle and the honest statement that simply all was going well. And so, Kakashi spent his days training alone.

Once again the sun had set on the horizon, and Kakashi lay on his back in the forest, gazing up at the sky in contemplation. His eyes closed for only a moment to rest, but the second they slipped closed, he sensed a brief flash of a presence nearby. Eyes snapping open instantly, Kakashi prepared to fling a shuriken star with all his might. Just as he brought his wrist back, it was easily captured by a warm hand. Kakashi's eyes widened in surprise.

"Sorry," his teacher apologized breezily, with a sheepish smile as he released his student. "Did I surprise you?"

Not responding, Kakashi swiftly rose to his feet and began to pick up his scattered weapons just as his teacher sat on the ground to observe him. He did not know why his teacher insisted upon being with him. Kakashi gritted his teeth slightly. He hated when adults looked down on him.

"I'm not looking down on you," his teacher replied, as if he had heard the boy's thoughts. The blond man smiled slightly when Kakashi stiffened. "I know that's what you're thinking."

Still not responding, Kakashi continued to pluck his weapons out of various targets he had set up. Of course, most had hit the center circle, if not dead center.

"Kakashi," he beckoned softly as the boy continued to gather his weapons from the ground and trees. "Although I'm technically not your teacher anymore since you're a jounin, I will always remember you as my treasured student and comrade."

Expression softening when Kakashi's movement slowed, the blond man went on, "I don't like seeing you alone. You should know better than anyone just how painful it is to be alone."

In his mind, Kakashi had always referred to the man behind him as "sensei," even when he knew quite well they were both jounin now. He always called him "sensei" and always thought of him that way. Even so, he still could not understand why his sensei wanted to be with him of all people.

"Well, you've been working hard," the blond man said cheerful, seeing that Kakashi had stopped picking up weapons and was staring pensively at the ground. Approaching the boy, he placed his hand lightly on the boy's shoulder. "Come, Kakashi," he said softly with a grin, "I'll treat you to ramen."

Kakashi was used to being alone, and it even bothered him sometimes to be touched. His skin tingled at the place where the older man's hand touched, despite the layers of clothes that separated their skin. Even though he rather be alone and enclose himself from other people, Kakashi could not help but follow his teacher at a slow and steady pace. His smile was intoxicating, Kakashi noticed, but that could not change the fact that Kakashi longed for solitude.

On the way back to the main city, the two jounin had to cross a small bridge. Kakashi stopped in his tracks the moment his teacher stopped to lean against the rail and gaze out at the horizon. Observing the man silently, Kakashi noted the placid smile on his lips and sense of ease about him. His teacher was truly happy.

"I'm quite fond of this bridge," the man admitted softly. "Did you notice? Most times when we return from our separate missions, this is where we end up meeting. Whatever happens, I feel that as long as I return to this bridge and the place where you are, I can be happy. We should meet here officially from now on."

"That's not something to be said so easily, Sensei," Kakashi replied quietly, turning to lean on the railing on the opposite side of the bridge. "You'll never know when you can lose something important."

"While I know by now that you would no longer strictly advise me to follow the rules, I acknowledge your warning," his teacher replied, smiling sincerely. "That's why we should become stronger to protect that which is important to us, Kakashi."

Struck by these words, Kakashi glanced over his shoulder to sneak a look at his teacher. The fading sunlight that danced across his face seemed to magnify his great sense of placidity. Simply watching him made Kakashi feel slightly more relaxed, but he quickly reminded himself that it was better to be alone and abruptly turned away.

"Well then," the man said suddenly, cheerfully turning to call Kakashi's attention. "Shall we continue on?"

Day after long day of training just as always, Kakashi would always end up being found by the same familiar smile and cheerfully dragged off for dinners. Despite the rough times, Kakashi unwillingly and grudgingly began to find those encounters more and more relaxing. If he ducked his head while Sensei and waiter or restaurant owner chatted cheerfully, Kakashi felt as if he could almost manage to smile. However, more than anything, he still feared attachment.

Whenever his sensei was on a mission, Kakashi would attempt to casually and indiscreetly wait by the bridge around dinnertime for him to return. The blond man would always show up no matter how difficult the mission assigned may have been. Of course, each time his sensei did show up, smirking slightly, Kakashi stubbornly denied having waited for him at all. That was something very unflattering to admit, no matter who it may have been.

"Kakashi," his sensei spoke suddenly one day as they sipped tea together while watching the setting sun, "does it bother you to spend time with me?"

Gulping down his tea, Kakashi stared evenly at the ground. He was too embarrassed to admit "no," but he also did not have the heart to say "yes." He shuffled his feet slightly in discomfort before remembering that a shinobi was not allowed to show emotions.

Smiling softly, the older man placed his hand on Kakashi's head affectionately. He said nothing in response to the boy's silence, eyes transfixed upon the last of the sun's beams melting into darkness. Quietly, he rose to his feet and ruffled the boy's hair.

"Well," he said brightly, bringing the boy's attention on him, "it's about time to get home now. Tomorrow will be another busy day, after all."

Kakashi watched him go out of the corner of his eye, feeling slightly guilty about not responding. The other man's easy smile, however, assured him that it was fine. At least, the wrenching feeling in his stomach told him so hopefully. Even though he was sent off with a smile, Kakashi could not ease that annoying feeling in his stomach. It made him uneasy as he trudged home and made him twist and turn before he could fall asleep, a true oddity for Kakashi. The feeling continued to haunt him until his eyes finally drifted closed and gave in to sleep.

In the morning, as usual, Kakashi was up before dawn. He had a quick breakfast and was out his door in a flash. He had completely forgotten about his unease from the previous night until dusk crept up behind him. Eyes darting toward the horizon, Kakashi unconsciously began gathering his things without a second thought. He treaded slower than he usually did though, staring sharply at his feet as he went. It was not that he felt nervous or angry at all. In fact, more than anything, Kakashi felt blank.

His mind returned from his trance when he saw wood underneath his feet and the sound of running water greeted his ears. It was irritating that he was beginning to fall into a trend, he thought glumly to himself. Without thinking, he had brought himself to the bridge that he had so often met a familiar smiling face. There was a difference this time, however. This time, there was no familiar smiling face to greet him.

Kakashi was used to arriving and immediately meeting his sensei, or, if the older man had not arrived yet, casually hiding nearby to wait until he did arrive. But it was new, however, that he had to wait until deep into the night and still have not come in contact with his smiling sensei he secretly longed to see.

Stars high in the sky and crickets chirping noisily, Kakashi finally rose from his hiding spot and walked across the bridge with narrowed eyes. No words could explain his emotions at that moment. Even he did not know how to explain himself. He was annoyed and disappointed at the same time, completely frustrated yet calm.

His feet carried him aimlessly about the town and unconsciously stopped at a familiar place. Realizing that his legs had stopped carrying him, Kakashi looked up at the brightly light building he stood before. Most windows were lighted, but one place was dark and lifeless. In his sensei's home, no lights were on. No one was there.

Still blank and emotionless, Kakashi trudged on in the moonlight, still unsure of his destination. His thoughts were uncharacteristically jumbled despite how he chastised himself for letting them be so. Hopelessly, he wondered if the reason his sensei had not come to meet him was because he had not replied to the question asked previously.

Pausing to a halt, Kakashi stared emptily at the ground. This was why he disliked letting his emotions run free. He was distracted, he couldn't think, but most painful of all, his heart felt dead.

"Kakashi?" a familiar old voice called out from a balcony above.

Reluctantly, Kakashi brought his gaze up to meet the source of the voice. He blinked once, seeing the face of the Sandaime Hokage smiling back down at him. Kakashi suddenly felt slightly ashamed. He hadn't realized he had strayed so far from his home.

"Sensei," Kakashi mumbled embarrassedly in spite of himself, "do you know where he is?"

"Ah," the older man nodded with a knowing look. Gently with a hint of a grin, he looked down at the boy before casually replying, "Your sensei left on a mission this morning. He's expected back in three days."

Embarrassment and worry suddenly forgotten, Kakashi felt annoyed. He felt ridiculous for worrying for nothing. His sensei had simply gone on a mission. It was perfectly normal for a jounin, especially considering the delicate balance of power Konoha currently held, Kakashi thought to himself grudgingly with a brief moment of self-annoyance. It _was_, however, odd for his sensei to leave on a mission without saying goodbye.

Bowing his head low to pay his respects to the older man, Kakashi bid Sandaime good night before slipping away into the shadows to hurry home. It was stupid of him to have worried for nothing and let his emotions run out of hand, Kakashi thought with much irritation. Well, it mattered no longer. In three days, his rather insensitive sensei would be back, thought the boy with a hasty sniff of aggravation. Just three days.

Just three days.

Or so he had thought.

Three days had passed in a flash, and before he had realized, Kakashi was waiting by the bridge to meet his sensei again at dusk. He was embarrassed to admit that he had hastily finished his training early that day in order to catch his sensei the moment he and his team returned. However, as time passed, although each of his teammates had returned, the young blond man was nowhere to be seen.

Kakashi was still smoothly chucking stones into the river when the sun was slowly slinking away behind the mountains. Whenever he sensed someone coming, he would perk up and turn to see if it was who he expected. Each time, he would be disappointed.

"Oh, Kakashi," an older jounin called out with slight surprise as he crossed the bridge. "It's getting late. Why are you still out here?"

The boy stood in silence for a moment before questioning quietly, "You're in sensei's four-man team, aren't you? Why…hasn't sensei come back yet?"

The older man frowned visibly as the younger jounin stared intensely back at him. "Ah… well, how should I put this…?"

Suddenly, Kakashi felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach.

"I don't think he'll be coming back today, Kakashi."

Kakashi stiffened visibly. His emotions quickly turned stony and his expression blank. With a simple, quick nod to the other man that stood on the bridge, Kakashi marched stiffly back into the woods.

Once in the safety and solitude of the trees, he let his anger and impending sense of anguish prevail. Long until the moon rose high into the sky, Kakashi angrily emptied out his weapon bag and threw each shining kunai and shuriken into the tree. The distraction was the least he could do to suppress the conflicting emotions crossing his soul.

The moon rose slowly and just as slowly began to fall again. Laying on the ground with sweat running down his face, Kakashi stared blankly up at the gradually lightening sky. An entire night had passed already and the sun was beginning to rise, but he had not noticed and felt as if only a meager minute had passed.

His tired body was aching slightly as his mind angrily told him to go home and rest. Grudgingly obeying the commands of his body, Kakashi rolled over and rose slowly to his feet. Quickly, he retrieved his weapons and hastily stuffed them into his pouch before he left the safe seclusion of the forest.

Trudging slowly, Kakashi made his way back towards the main city. His entire being still felt blank, and his senses were tired. Hearing the comforting sound of the river current, Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes. A shinobi was to never disclose his feelings, no matter how much it hurt.

Just as he took a step onto the wooden bridge, Kakashi felt a cool shadow hover over his face. Hazily, he opened his eyes, wincing slightly at the rising sun's brilliant rays. As his vision slowly cleared the blurry spots from the bright light, Kakashi felt his breathing slow dramatically.

Smiling casually before Kakashi, his sensei stood, perfectly alive and well.

"Tadaima, Kakashi," he stated cheerfully. "Did you miss me?"

The moment he saw his sensei's smiling face again, Kakashi felt relief flood into his entire being, and for a moment, he closed his eyes and smiled in contentment. In the next moment, however, his annoyance and irritation returned to him just as quickly as his eyes flashed open again.

"You went on a mission without saying goodbye," Kakashi growled slightly, his tone laden with stony annoyance, "and now you're back late. Sensei…"

The older man let out a sheepish laugh, bending over slightly to better meet Kakashi's eye-level. Smiling guiltily, the blond man rubbed the back of his neck with a sincerely apologetic expression. Before he could say anything, however, Kakashi quietly piped up again.

"…I don't mind spending time with you at all. Now that I say this…don't hate me anymore."

Smile widening significantly, the older man brought down a hand on the boy's bowed head and ruffled it affectionately with a laugh. Teasingly, he asked, "Is that what was bothering you all the while I was away? You know I would never hate you. Ah, but no wonder you were so angry when I got back a few hours ago."

His shyness instantly disappearing again, Kakashi felt his irritation creep back into his system. His sensei was spying on him. "_Sensei_!"

Laughing, the older man apologized, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Forgive me, alright? Now let's go visit Obito and get you home to bed."

Grudgingly, Kakashi let himself be led by the arm towards the memorial grounds. When he was sure the older man was not looking, Kakashi felt his lips twitch into a smile that was covered by his mask anyway. Secretly, this is the way he hoped it would always be.

And that way it was. Up until the time his sensei had been declared Yondaime Hokage, and further up until chaos erupted, quickly shattering the hope for happiness again.

"You're going, aren't you?"

The newly appointed Yondaime Hokage directed his gaze at the stars back down at the tall teen before him as the stood upon a familiar bridge over a river. Lifting his hand to ruffle the teen's hair, the blond man smiled sincerely cheerfully despite the worsening situations. Closing his eyes serenely, he responded, "It is my honor and duty to protect Konoha, Kakashi. This is the city, after all, that you and all my other deeply treasured people reside."

"I know that," Kakashi replied flatly, staring hard down at the wood beneath his feet. "Just…come back. You will, won't you…?"

There was no vocal response, only an apologetic smile. At that point, Kakashi knew he would not want to hear the answer to his question. Painfully, he squeezed his eyes shut. "You're too cruel to me, sensei. But I know, it's your duty."

"And I'll do it willingly," the man replied gently, sweeping a few long bangs away from his student's remaining uncovered eye. As Kakashi looked up at him slowly, the blond man tenderly pushed the boy's headband away from his fore head an inch before placing a soft kiss on the uncovered skin. Standing up straight again, he smiled back at the boy once more, "You'll better understand when you have students of your own someday, Kakashi."

_I didn't want this bond to break._

Closing his eyes, Kakashi turned to stare blankly out at the dark river flowing from beneath his feet. Softly, he muttered, "Go, sensei. The kyuubi won't wait forever."

"Bridges represent bonds," the blond man said quietly as he turned, "and this one, I shall fight hardest for to prevent from breaking. I promise."

And in a yellow flash, Kakashi was alone.

---

In the morning after the kyuubi attack, Kakashi walked slowly through the mostly destroyed but peaceful again city towards the river on the outskirts. Hearing the current, he stopped and closed his eyes.

As the wind whistled by, Kakashi muttered softly to the breeze, "Sensei, you liar…"

Crystaline tears brewed againsthis closed eye. The bridge of their meeting was broken and washed away by ruthless river currents.

Owari.

--- --- ---

**A/N:** Ok, I'll admit to spending WAY too much time working on this. But it's so dang difficult to write about a character whose name I can't use. T-T; This story is my second attempt at it, but it hasn't gotten any easier.

But anyway, I do love Kakashi and Yondaime dearly so this was fun to write and made me feel a bit empathetic at times. Ah, I had to worry about OOC-ness often though. Hopefully it turned out alright since I was too lazy to change anything…

Well, thanks very much for reading and leave a review if you love me:D


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